domingo, 20 de febrero de 2011

And I think of you
your laugh that chokes me when far and floods me when near
your smell that empties me when far and presses me when near
your eyes that find me when far and avoid me when near
of you, who completes me when far and completes me, too, when near

So, what do you think, I'm not a native english speaker, is there any way too improve this, maybe different verbs?

3 comentarios:

  1. Felt like I was reading a passage from the bible. Maybe old style? lol.

  2. "When far" comes across as a bit awkward. When afar, perhaps?

  3. I thought so, thanks! Is it used like "asleep"?